chat = Chat.get(user.id, other_user.ap_id)
cm_ref = MessageReference.for_chat_and_object(chat, object)
cm_ref = %{cm_ref | chat: chat, object: object}
chat = Chat.get(user.id, other_user.ap_id)
cm_ref = MessageReference.for_chat_and_object(chat, object)
cm_ref = %{cm_ref | chat: chat, object: object}